The Curious Incident of the Cat in the Night (Re-Upload)
by anonymousauthor406
Summary: Edited and re-uploaded since I lost control of the original. Please do let me know what you think of it./ A tale of two kitties, one frightened to show himself, the other unaware of who he was, until now.
1. Author's Notes

Author's Notes:

The following story contains characters not owned by me.

I've created the narrator in a style reminiscent of Deadpool, so the narrator will be breaking the 4th wall. Breaks are indicated with italics.

There will be adult material.

Quite a bit of it.

You have been warned.

This is a re-upload of the Original "Curious Incident" as I lost control of the original account.

I also edited out a lot of the commentary since the story ended up going in a different direction from the humorous piece I intended.


	2. First Time

As I looked up into his eyes it took all I had not fall apart then and there. I never thought, though I admit I had rather hoped, that he would be here, with me, straddling my chest, ready to give himself to me. I felt his warmth, heard his heart racing, smelt his ambrosial scent. We both were ready. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. I felt tingles all down my spine as our lips touched. I could feel his virgin hardness pressing against me and I smiled internally. If only he knew what I had in store for him tonight...

 ** _Woah woah woah – I think we may be getting a bit ahead of ourselves hmm? And come on, can I be any more cliché? Don't worry we'll be getting back to this eventually and you'll get to read all about what happens, but for now, we should probably go back to where all this started._**

We both grew up in the junkyard. There were a few of us that were inseparable – me, him, Vicki, and Bombi. We were all about the same age, Bombi and I were older than the other two by a bit, and of them Vicki had him by about a minute or two (Did I mention they were twins?). We would all play together, constantly causing problems for Jenny and my brother Munk.

"As we grew up, he and I were as close as we could be. We told each other everything – I even told him before anyone else the first time I felt something for Bombi. In hindsight I know why I never heard anything about females out of him, but at the time I figured he was just really shy.

When it came time for my first Ball, he and Vicki weren't quite ready, so I just went with Bombi, much to the chagrin of all the other queens. Needless to say I've always been quite the lady's man. Anyway we left them behind with some of the queens and the other kits and made our way to the Ball. As we watched we were swept away in the song and dance – a wondrous blur of soaring sound and whirling color.

As the mating dance began all the queens (without much subtlety I might add) may their way towards me, but I already had my eyes on the night's prize. I'd been waiting for this moment for a long time. Bombi and I danced together and when all the others were settling down to sleep in each other's arms we stole away from the rest.

"We found a secluded clearing and I pulled her in close. We hadn't so much as kissed before, but what the hell. I just sorta guessed my way through. I pulled her in close and kissed her, running my hands down her sides before grabbing her rear and pulling her down on top of me. She responded well to this kind of treatment and began kissing me even more violently. I slid my hand between us and tried to find her special place. The spell was broken momentarily with a violent "Ow!" from her when my claw poked somewhere it shouldn't have. **_Don't worry it gets better._** She took my hand and guided it to its target before we resumed. I could smell that she was ready, and given the sudden growth I'd experienced I was too. I brought my hands up to her sides and roughly rolled over on top of her. I could see in her eyes she was loving it. The spell was again broken as I failed miserably to find the proper entrance. _**Told you**_. Again she guided me in and we finished beneath the pale light of the Jellicle Moon.


	3. The Morning After

We returned to the others just as my father was choosing who would be allowed to enter the Heavyside Lair. Yes, Old Deuteronomy is my father, everyone knows that. I don't recall who he chose to enter the lair that year - **_can you blame me though? I'd just gotten my first slice of Bombi's pie minutes before_** – but I have some recollection of it being someone's father. Anyway as everyone went off with their mates Bombi and I were once again left to our devices for a while, so guess what we did?

When I emerged from my den I was pounced on by queens and kits alike. They all wanted to know if I'd chosen my first mate and who it was. After a moment they all knew that Bombi and I had mated (I hadn't bothered to do much grooming so her scent was lingering) and started asking all about it. I dodged most of the questions so I could hide my short comings - **_NO NOT LIKE THAT -_** from the night before. Bombi and I had agreed for both our sakes that when questioned by grown toms and queens we'd lie and say we were both fantastically gifted. Eventually Bombi joined me outside, giving me a pat on the rear and a peck on the cheek. All of my fans gushed at this.

Nobody ever truly understood why I always had so many fans. It wasn't like they knew I was a good lay, so I guess they all just assumed from my flirting and the way I sang and danced. I should also point out that although I only really mention queens, there were a couple toms in the club as well. Most of the toms were there for the dirty details, but one or two – **_that's right Alonzo, you weren't fooling anyone_** – were there for other reasons as well, so I never left them out of the fun.

The only one I never saw there was him. Vicki was usually part of the group, but he wasn't. It never really bothered me anyway. I didn't think of him the same as I did them. He was the only one I ever really talked to. The rest of them I just sort of entertained. Don't get me wrong, I loved the attention, still do, but when I was with him I could let it all go. It wasn't like I became a totally new person when I was with him, more that I could let out all the other stuff that didn't fit with the persona I'd become associated with.

When I could finally break free from Bombi and the crowd – they were still questioning her when I left – I sought out my friend. I found him in his favorite little clearing, levitating an old can.

"Hey Quax," I said, startling him into sending the can soaring past my head. "Woah there buddy. Probably want to work on your aim."

"Oh hey Tugger. Sorry about that. How was the ball? And why do you smell like Bombalurina? Wait… you didn't! Did you?" his expression had gone from sheepish to shocked as he spoke.

"The ball was everything they promised – you'll be amazed next year. And yes. We did," his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head when I confirmed it. If he felt anything other than shock at the time I didn't notice it, though I was probably too busy reliving the night in my mind.

"So… where does that leave us?"

"What do you mean Quax?"

"Well now that you and Bombi are mates…"

"Slow down there kit. We haven't event talked about it. Between us, we even agreed to lie about how things went last night. I mean we figured it out but there were a few mistakes made, so we figured we'd just lie and claim we were both naturally talented to protect our reputations."

He chuckled at this response, obviously amused by my performance (or lack thereof). "Well as long as your reputation is intact that's all that matters."


	4. Magical

The next few weeks are a bit of a blur. All I remember is spending quite a bit of time in my den with Bombi ** _._** I must say we both did improve considerably in that time. She learned from some of the older queens that you could use your mouth while mating and it certainly did make things much more interesting. Frankly I'm surprised we managed to not make kittens of our own with the sheer amount of mating we did.

Eventually the novelty wore off and we stopped going at it every chance we could. My fan club was certainly happy to have more time with me and it was nice to have some time away from her. Don't get me wrong I still was feeling it, but at the same time I felt like all we had anymore was mating. We didn't really talk all that much, and when we did it was mostly about something one of us had heard might be fun to try.

I found myself with quite a burning desire to go see Quaxo – **_At this point in time he was still only Quaxo. He won't become Mr. Mistoffelees until further down._** I found him in the same clearing that I'd seen him in the night after the Ball. Once again I found him practicing his magic, this time he wasn't just levitating the can; he was moving it all around. I stretched myself out on a rather comfy fender, and watched for a few minutes.

"My, my. You've certainly improved." Quaxo once again leapt up in surprise and again sent the can careening at me, thankfully his aim hadn't improved.

"Dammit Tugger! Stop startling me like that." He seemed awfully embarrassed and even went a bit red. "Next time I'll actually aim for your head."

"Oh deary me! Not only is the little kitten using foul language but he's threatening me too!" I said, grinning ear to ear.

"Save it Tugger. You know well as I do I'm no kit anymore."

"Do I? I feel like I haven't seen you in days," I slid down off the fender as I spoke and walked over to him.

"That's because you _haven't_ seen me in days."

"Look Quax I'm sorry I-"

"Save it Tug. I know where you've been. Whole junkyard can hear the two of you most of the time."

It was my turn to flush this time. "Well then… So you seem to be doing quite well with the magic. When are you going to let everyone else in on it?"

"When I'm ready I'll tell the others."

"And when will that be? You've been saying that forever."

"I don't know. I just… I just want to have more control over it. You saw what just happened. One little distraction and look what happened," he said defeatedly.

"Well maybe it's a good thing your aim hasn't improved then," I said with a grin, which earned me a rather quick smack from Quaxo. "Ow! I'm joking, I'm joking!" As he smirked back at me is saw a twinkle in his eye I'd never seen before. "So have you thought about what you're going to call yourself? Every great performer has to have a stage name."

"Guess that explains why you haven't taken one," he said cheekily while quickly ducking to avoid my hand.

"I have! I'm no longer just Rum Tug Tugger; I'm _THE_ Rum Tum Tugger."

"How very original," he replied. "I was thinking I'd call myself Mr. Mistoffelees."

"Where'd that come from Quax?"

"It just sorta came to me."

"I kinda like it. Have to find you a new nickname though…"

"It's not like I'm not going to be Quaxo anymore. Mistoffelees is just a part of me."

"Maybe I could call you Misto… or maybe Misty…" He gave me a rather disapproving look. "It's only fair – I'm the first to see this hidden side of you." In hindsight his reaction makes far more sense, but at the time I felt it a little odd that he'd turn away me at this point. "Something wrong Misty?"

"No. And don't call me that," he said, back still turned.

I pulled him around to face me. "Somehow I don't believe you. Talk to me."

"No, really Tugger, I'm fine. It's just that I'm nervous about letting people see this." As he replied he flopped down to the ground, and I could see the distress in his eyes. "No one else here is like this and I don't know how they're going to react to this."

"Listen. If anyone has a problem with who you are you tell them to come see me," I said, dropping down next to him. "You know I've always got your back."

"Thanks Tug."

"Seriously though the _entire_ junkyard?"

"Yes Tugger," he said exasperatedly, "the _entire_ junkyard."


	5. Secrets

The remainder of the year went by uneventfully for the most part. Sure there was the occasional threat of a visit by Macavity and a few spats with Bombi, but things were going pretty smoothly until the topic of the Ball came up. Misty and I were alone in the clearing, he was practicing his magic, and I was lying on the fender. I couldn't help but notice the way he moved his body as he did his magic. His performance was flowing and elegant, and the magic was astonishing.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'm gonna start thinking you want to mate with me Tugger."

"What? Um, well, uh…" I simply couldn't get the words out. We often teased each other but something was different about it this time.

"Aww… poor little Tugger's tongue tied."

"I am not!" I finally managed to splutter.

"Relax Tug. I'm just having a little fun," he said flirtatiously.

"Whatever Misty."

"Dammit I told you not to call me that! Especially not before everyone knows."

"Come on, I think it suits you, Misty." I picked myself up and leapt down into the clearing. "Besides, the Ball will be the perfect time to show off. Can't imagine the Jellicle Moon will hurt your abilities either."

"I was just going to dance a bit. I don't think I'm ready for-"

"Nonsense. What I just saw was absolutely fantastic. The only thing I'm not sure you're ready for is the mating dance."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said defensively.

"Oh nothing… Just that I've never seen you with any of the queens, and you've never mentioned one." I put my arms around him and pulled him in saying, "Could it be our dear little Misty likes toms?" He pushed me away hard enough to knock me to the ground (though from his expression I could tell he hadn't meant to). "Easy there Misty. It's ok if you do. Everlasting knows everyone's aware that Alonzo does, no matter how hard he tries to hide it." From the look in his eyes I could tell that I was right. I could see it there, wanting to burst out. When I began I had only meant get a little revenge for earlier, I had no idea the effect my words would have on him.

"Fine. But you can't tell ANYONE ok?" He slumped down to his knees, and began tearing up. I crawled over and pulled him close.

"Don't cry. Like I said it's fine. You are who you are. You can't control who you love. It just happens." He pressed his face into my chest, and I could feel him trembling in my arms.

"Why can't I just be normal like everyone else? First there's the magic, now this," he sobbed.

"I can't explain the work of the Everlasting. All I know is that if he did have a hand in making us who we are, every part of us is the way it is for a reason."

"Where did you get all that?"

"No idea. Guess I did get something from my father, since I certainly didn't get these dashing good looks from him." He couldn't help but crack a smile at my remark. "Now look, it's not my place to tell you what to do with your love life, so I won't say anything more on the subject unless you ask for it, but if I have to drag you out kicking and screaming, I will make sure that you show off your gift this year."

"Can we talk about this later Tug? I'd just like to sit here for a few more minutes..."

"We can stay here as long as you want Misty."

"I told you to stop calling me that."

We spent the rest of the afternoon there, though we didn't speak much. I could tell he was hurting, and I just wanted to hold him and tell him he was going to be ok. To this day I don't know what came over me that afternoon. Misty and I had always been close and comfortable with each other, but I'd never felt compelled to simply hold someone the way I did, not even Bombalurina. Actually I take that back. I do know what came over me that afternoon. I just didn't know what it was at the time.

The night of the ball came 'round and the junkyard was full of energy. Everyone was excited from the kits to the eldest of queens. In the moments before the Ball was to begin I pulled Misty aside.

"Nervous, Mr. Mistoffelees?"

"We went over this Tugger! I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Yeah and you never will be. Of all the nights of the year, this is the one. Everyone expects wondrous things tonight, let yourself be one of them."

"But what about the mating dance hmm? What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Well can't help you with that one. Or can I?" I stepped in closer and looked down into his eyes.

"Stop it Tugger. You know how I feel about all of this."

"Just relax. It's your first Ball and it's not like anyone expects you to mate. You haven't been seen with anyone so if you just want to hide or something no one will take notice."

 ** _Now those of you who have seen Andy's version of what happened will know that he stuck around and ended up just knocking out alone._** ** _You'll also know that right in the middle of my performance he took me down a notch and called me "a terrible bore."_** ** _But what you don't know is that while everyone else was sleeping I was hatching a plan to show everyone Misty's magic. You'll probably also want to know that some liberties were taken with the way he conjured up my father._**

"Pst! Dad!" I whispered, gently stirring my father from his sleep.

"What is it Tugger?" He asked groggily.

"It's about Quaxo." My father chuckled at this.

"What, did he hurt your feelings?"

"No! It's just – look he has powers alright? He doesn't want people to think he's strange, but I really want him to feel comfortable with it."

"I get the feeling you're not here for my advice."

"We all know Macavity tries to crash the Ball every year. After he gets chased off, would you mind hiding in that pipe at the back of the clearing?"

"Why would I do that?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, if I can trick everyone into thinking Quaxo brought you back with his magic, everyone will love him for it. I don't know how they'd react otherwise."

"I can't say I like this plan, nor do I think it wise to let Quaxo deceive everyone like this."

"I wasn't planning on telling him. Only we would know. He's got enough to burden him already; I just don't want him having to carry this weight too."

"Why not just encourage him to simply tell everyone?"

"He doesn't want to tell anyone. Every time I ask him when he's going to he puts it off. I'm worried that if one of the others stumbles upon him practicing they'll think he's like my brother, and given how secretive he's been about it I can't say I wouldn't jump to the same conclusion if I didn't know him so well."

My father remained silent for a moment. "Do you truly believe this is the best way?"

"Well if everyone assumes Macavity abducted you, I can't see a better way of Quaxo proving that he isn't allied with Macavity than returning you to the rest of us."

"If you truly believe this is the best way, I'll help you."

"I do father."

Everything went off without a hitch, and just like that Mr. Mistoffelees was born. Our revelry was rather short lived because of Grizabella's return, but none of us could feel anything but pity for her, and we were all happy that she was finally able to reach the Heavyside Lair.


	6. Pinned

"What'd I tell you Misty? Everybody loves you. You're a bona fide hero." We were once again in our little clearing, but this time we were both dangling our legs over the side of the fender.

"Can I tell you something Tugger? I don't think it was my magic that brought your father back last night."

"What are you talking about? Of course it was! How else would he have gotten back?"

"I don't know. All I know is you sprung the whole thing on me, I made a few sparks and suddenly your father appears out of what we all thought was an empty pipe, and I'm suddenly a hero."

"Is that a bad thing though?"

"It just doesn't feel honest. I genuinely don't know how it happened. It could've been pure coincidence."

"What are you saying? That my father just happened to hide himself in that pipe and waited for me to convince everyone you might be able to help before finally popping out?"

"I guess that is kinda ridiculous."

"Kinda? Come on. You did it. Savor it." I put my arm around him and pulled him close. He rested his head on me and we just sat there for a few moments of silence.

"Tugger, how do you know if you're in love?" His question caught me a bit off guard. It seemed odd that he'd be asking me this particular question.

"I'm not quite sure. I guess I could just say what all the elders say, but I get the feeling it won't do any good."

"Well how does it feel when you're with Bombalurina?"

"These days? Not so great. She's become one of, if not _the_ , most beautiful queens around but I hardly feel like we even know each other."

"What do you mean?" He seemed rather taken aback at my response. "I thought you guys were mates?"

"There's a big difference between mating and being mates. Anyone can mate with anyone. But when you become a mate with someone, you give yourself to them. When you agree to be someone's mate you're telling them that they're the one you want to see each night as you fall asleep and the one you see each morning when you wake. You're saying that you'd journey to the ends of the earth for them. You're saying that if you had just minutes left to live you'd want to spend those moments with them. You're saying that no matter what comes in this life, you'll be there for them." By the time I finished this speech I found myself almost out of breath. "Sorry. I didn't mean to talk your ears off."

"That was actually really romantic Tug," he said, nuzzling my shoulder. "It's kinda nice to see this side of you once in a while. But I do have to ask, why are you two still together if you have no intention of becoming mates?"

"I could lie to you and tell you we're hoping we can get through some things, but honestly? She's hot and I'm really good at mating so it's kind of a win/win for now."

Mistoffelees sighed and rolled his eyes. "Aaaaaaand he's back. Ladies and gentleman, the one and only Rum Tug Tugger."

I couldn't help but grin at the comment before I nuzzled his head with mine and said "you wouldn't love me any other way."

"Wait what? I never - "He pulled away quickly and spluttered to get the words out quickly enough.

"Relax; I was just teasing you Misty."

"Well don't tease like that, and what did I tell you about calling me Misty?"

"What are you gonna do about it?" I pushed him lightly as I asked.

"How about this?" He pushed me down into the clearing and starting zapping the ground around me with his magic. "Oh Tugger! Dance for us Tugger!" He said, mimicking my fans as he carried on.

"Not funny Misty! OW!" One of his zaps nipped my backside, causing me to leap up before falling to the ground. He grinned down at me mischievously and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous I must have looked. "Least you could do is give me a hand up after that." He came down into the clearing and took my outstretched hand. "Can't believe you fell for that one!" I cried out, pulling him down next to me. Despite the size difference he put up a good fight before I managed to pin him. "Don't you know I always end up on top Misty?"

"Come on Tugger, get off me," he said, still trying to break free.

"Not until you admit I'm the greatest and apologize for zapping me."

"Fine. You're the greatest and I'm heartily sorry for having zapped you."

"Say it like you mean it."

"I'm sorry Tugger. You're the greatest."

"Aww… Misty stop, you're making me blush!"

After a few minutes of laying there, he broke the silence. "You planning to get off me any time soon?"

"Nope."


	7. Kiss

We spent the rest of the morning in the clearing. Once I'd had enough fun with him I let Misty up and he practiced his dancing as I tidied up my fur. We didn't speak much more but we had always enjoyed each other's company, even if it was simply doing our own thing while the other was nearby.

As the morning drifted into afternoon I caught myself watching him dance more and more. He was by far the best dancer of the toms, and I'd even venture to say he was better than any of the queens too. The way his body glided around the clearing, flowing effortlessly between leaps and spins and pirouettes and assemblé, had me transfixed. His black coat shone in the cool morning air and the look on his face made it clear that this was where he was meant to be.

"I'm starting to think that comment I made last week about you wanting to mate with me was accurate." I hadn't realized how long I'd been staring, but it was long enough for him to make his way over and flick his tail in my face. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks at being caught, but his back was turned and he didn't see.

"I was… uh… thinking about stuff."

"Sure you were. You were thinking about my stuff," he said with a smirk.

"What? I was NOT!" Half of my protest was out of shock, and half was out of fear he was right.

He sidled over to me and started messaging my shoulders. He leaned in and whispered "I wouldn't mind you know." I sprung to my feet and continued my protest before he doubled over laughing. "You thought I was serious?!"

"I – I – I thought you wouldn't joke about something like that - especially not after the way you were talking about it last night!"

"Well I figured I'd never get another chance to get you twice in one day! You can't expect me to pass that up." I crossed my arms indignantly and gave him the best disapproving look I could muster, but it served to make him laugh even more. I pounced on him again and we tussled for a while before I once again had him trapped. "This again? What do I have to say now?" He inquired, still laughing.

"You're not getting off so easy this time."

"I should hope not. You were far too quick last time." He managed to pull a straight face long enough to make his comment before bursting out again.

"Lucky I know your soft spot." I could feel him squirming beneath me as I ran my fingers down his side.

"No fair! You ca- can't tickle me!" He could barely muster enough breath to get the words out.

"Oh yeah? Watch me." I continued to tickle him for a few seconds before looking down into his eyes. He looked beautiful as he laughed and the joy sparkled in his eyes like gemstones in the sun. Before I knew what I was doing I'd lowered myself down and was kissing him. At first we were both shocked by it, but it wasn't long before his arms were around my neck and he was returning the kiss passionately.

"Tugger? Where are you Tugger?" I sat bolt upright as I heard Bombalurina calling for me. The spell had been broken, and I had no time to see if my relationship with my best friend had been as well. I looked back at him before I darted out of the clearing. I couldn't tell what was running through the poor kit's mind; all I knew was that things were never going to be the same between us, for better or for worse.

When I found Bombi I pulled her in close and kissed her. I was still feeling the passion from the kiss with Mistoffelees and I had to let it out. She returned the kiss with just as much passion, but it was nothing like his. It felt empty. I threw my emotions aside and began caressing her body. I felt her tense up at my touch. When we finally broke the kiss she gave me an inquisitive look. "Don't take this the wrong way Tugger, but what's gotten into you? And why do you smell like Quaxo?"

"Well I did spend the morning with him." Her eyes narrowed at this. "Not like _that_. I just thought I'd see how he was doing after his first Ball. As for your other question," I pulled her in for another kiss before finishing, "I think I'm still a little wired from the Ball. Now why don't we head back to my den?"

We spent the entire afternoon in my den. I noticed that I was being rougher than usual, but that certainly didn't faze her. On the contrary, she seemed to be even more aroused by the violence and came at with just as much force. By the time we were finished my den (which I confess is never particularly clean) looked like the aftermath of a winter storm.

As we lay beside each other I could help but think of Mistoffelees. What possessed me to kiss him? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? I tried to come up with another answer, but one kept floating around my head. No matter how hard I fought it or attempted to explain it away, it wouldn't leave. I was in love with Mistoffelees.


	8. A Different Perspective

**_Now at this point I thought you might want to know what was going through Misty's head so he's gonna take over for a while._**

Telling Tugger that I like toms was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I hadn't intended to, but when he started teasing me it hit me hard. I wasn't upset with him – there was no way he could've known what his words would do – but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I'd known for some time that I liked toms but I did everything I could to hide it from the others, especially my closest friends. I didn't know how people would react to it and it would've killed me to have them turn me away.

When I told him, I didn't tell him everything. I couldn't. I've always known that he can handle people loving him, but I knew I couldn't face him again if he knew how I felt about him. I couldn't help but break down when I told him. He knew two of my tightest kept secrets and he still cared for me, but he could never know the third. Being there in his arms almost made it harder because I knew that was the closest I'd ever get to him. He'd never feel the way I felt, but maybe I could pretend for a while that he did.

When I finally left his embrace I had to fight with all I had not to break down. I knew I'd never feel his touch again. Even Bombalurina had never felt what I'd just felt and she was the closest to a mate he'd ever had. I thanked him and told him how much it meant that he'd been there for me, and I couldn't help stealing another short embrace before I left.

On the night of the ball I was terrified. Despite the teasing, his presence and his words were calming. After he interrupted Jenny's song I couldn't help but take him down a notch by interrupting his, but I couldn't come up with anything better than "terrible bore." I could have killed him though, when he said I could find his father. Sure he'd seen me conjure a few things before, but never another Jellicle! All I could do was dance and make sparks until I got up the nerve to try something more. When Old Deuteronomy actually appeared from the pipe I was as surprised as everyone else. As I'm sure Tugger has told you about countless times, the conjuring turn with the red cloth and Cassandra was nothing more than the imagination of some human. I've never quite understood his fascination with that human, but I digress. I never really believed that I had managed to bring back Old Deuteronomy. Despite Tugger's best efforts to convince me that there was no other reasonable explanation for it the idea never sat well with me, I just had one of those gut feelings that was telling me something wasn't right.

I don't quite know what possessed me to ask Tugger about love the next morning. I guess it was mostly because he already knew about my preferences so it would avoid a potentially awkward situation if Victoria started trying to figure out who it was. On the other hand, I was asking the person I thought I was in love with what it meant to be in love. I must confess his speech on what it meant to be mates did make my heart flutter. He so rarely lets that side of himself show; it's really endearing when he does.

As much as I enjoyed taunting him and making him dance, I think enjoyed the aftermath even more. I'd never admit that to his face of course, and I suspect he won't actually read this so I'm pretty sure I can get away with writing it here. I've never been one for roughing around, but I did enjoy the feeling of Tugger pinning me down. I didn't even mind the tickling. Well, as much as one _can_ not mind tickling.

The next part, though, still has me at a loss for words. I'd always imagined he was a good kisser but I had no idea. In the first moments I couldn't even figure out what was happening, but once I came to my senses there was nothing I wanted more than him. My body was ready for whatever he was planning and I was ready to give whatever he desired.

I can't say I was surprised at his reaction to Bombalurina's call. It didn't make it any easier when he ran away though. As he left I was hit was a lifetime's worth of emotions. I felt almost every emotion one can feel, all at the same time. I felt a passionate desire to have him for my own. I felt a burning rage that she would take him from me and that he would go so quickly. I felt a bleak disparity, knowing that things could never be the same. I felt the lingering joy of having him there. I felt the sadness of having lost him. I knew I couldn't hold it all inside and I wept there, lying in the dirt of that little clearing. That clearing where I'd first shown him my magic. That clearing where he told me the truth about his first time mating. That clearing where I'd come out to him. That clearing where he'd held me close as I wept. That clearing where minutes ago we were laughing together. That clearing where moments ago we'd kissed.


	9. Caught

When I finally pulled myself together and had groomed enough to be somewhat presentable I left the clearing. I didn't know quite where I was going. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I was afraid I'd say too much, but I couldn't bare being alone. I wandered around the junkyard, greeting those who greeted me, but never staying for conversation. Most everyone I encountered brought up the events of the night, and I must confess all the attention did feel good, but as I said I didn't dare engage anyone in further conversation.

The hardest part of the ordeal was figuring out how I felt about Tugger. On the one hand, I loved him. On the other, the feelings weren't mutual. But he had been the one to kiss me and there was something in that kiss, something I couldn't quite explain, that made me believe that it meant something to him too. On the other hand, he ran away without a word. After letting these thoughts wage war within my head I decided I had to know. I had to hear it from him. Whatever it was, I had to know the answer. Did he have feelings for me or didn't he?

I made my way across the junkyard towards his den. As I drew nearer I found my answer. At first I thought something was wrong because I heard what sounded like someone getting a serious beating, but moments later I heard Bombalurina screaming his name. He was mating with her, and violently too. When I'd first told him that we could hear the two of them I'd been exaggerating, but this time everyone within 30 yards of the den could hear them clearly. I should have known that's what I'd hear. I should have known that whatever had happened between us was nothing more than a mistake, and yet I had still clung to that tiny morsel of hope, that last ray of light. He wasn't like me. Sure he'd said that his relationship with Bombi was almost purely physical now, but that's the kind of tom he was. He wasn't the sort to settle down, and certainly not with a tom. I'd let myself give in to my feelings for him and now I was paying the price.

I spent the rest of the day alone. I only had one thing on my mind and I had no intention of making it public knowledge. I went back to the clearing to practice my magic, in the hope that I could at least give myself something else to focus on, something that would keep me from thinking of him, but it was hopeless. I'd be in the middle of levitating one thing or teleporting another when somehow he'd work his way into my mind again and I'd get caught up in the riptide of emotion and I'd wind up causing whatever I was practicing on to explode in a shower of sparks. Eventually the noises drew the attention of someone because I was joined in the clearing by Munkustrap. I didn't notice him enter the clearing so I don't know quite how long he was there before he spoke.

"Something wrong Quaxo? Or is it Mistoffelees now?" His presence startled me as much as his brother's had, and yielded a very similar reaction. Thankfully though he not only shared his brother's ability to sneak up on people, but his agility as well. "Woah! Not sure I deserved that…"

"Sorry Munk. That always seems to happen when people sneak up on me while I'm practicing." The projectile had toppled over most of the junk he'd been leaning against, and he was now walking towards me.

"It's alright," he said with a calming smile. "But you didn't answer my question even though, judging by the amount of destroyed cans, I think I know the answer." He put his hand on my shoulder gently and gave me a reassuring look. "Want to talk about it?"

"I'm fine, really. There's nothing to talk about." I couldn't look at him as I lied. It was hard not to tell him, but I couldn't.

"No Quaxo. We're not doing this. This isn't nothing. I know nothing, and this certainly isn't nothing. Tell me what's going on." He used his free hand to gently raise my head to look him in the eye. "This doesn't have anything to do with last night does it?"

"No, no it doesn't. I'll be ok Munk. I appreciate your concern, though."

"You're not getting of that easy. I know you normally go to my brother when you've got stuff on your mind, but he's… indisposed… at the moment." I could see him flush a bit as he spoke. "Then again, when isn't he?" I could tell from his forced chuckle that he was trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I can't exactly talk to him about this particular thing," I said, turning away again before Munkustrap could see me holding back tears. When I finally looked back at him there was a strange look on his face. I hadn't told him anything, but he looked like he knew everything. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He sighed deeply before responding. "I've had this conversation with quite a few, but out of everyone I never would've expected to have it with you." He took another deep breath before continuing. "You're in love with my brother aren't you?"


	10. Confessions

My whole body tensed up as he spoke. Could it really be that obvious? If it was that obvious to him, did Tugger know too? "What? Don't be ridiculous Munkustrap. I'm not like Alonzo."

"Come on Quaxo. I've known you long enough to know when you're lying. Or did you forget about the time you and Tug tried to blame Mungo for swiping some extra milk?" A small smile came across his face as spoke, and I couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic too. "It's fine Quax. You can tell me."

I sighed and gave in. "You're right. I told him a few months ago that I liked toms, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I really felt about him." I could feel myself tearing up again, but I couldn't hide it from Munkustrap this time.

"Here, sit down." He guided me over to the fender and we sat down and rested against it. "You're really brave to have told him what you did. The first person is always the hardest, not to mention the fact that he was the object of your affections? That's brave in my book."

"Thanks Munk. It's just been so hard to hold all these things in. I can't tell Alonzo because he'll blab to Tugger, and I certainly can't tell Tugger himself. There's no one else like me though, so I just have to keep it all in."

"Listen, there's… there's something you should know." He looked around quickly before proceeding. "Alonzo and I… well… we've sort of been seeing each other." I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. Munkustrap and Alonzo were seeing each other?

"What?"

"Yeah. It started at last year's ball. He'd come to me before the ball and told me his secret, and during the mating dance I found myself drawn to him. One thing led to another and then well…" He blushed a bit as he left his sentence off.

I wasn't quite sure how to proceed with this new information. Part of me was happy to hear that there was someone I could talk to about things but it was hard to process that Munkustrap was seeing Alonzo. "But I thought you were with-"

"I am. I do love her, but she can't quite satisfy a certain need that Alonzo can," he said, cutting me of before I could say her name. "I don't want to give you false hope, but I saw a glimmer of it in Tugger's eyes last time we talked about him and Bombalurina. I don't know what's going on there, but something isn't quite right."

"He doesn't love her. He told me himself that their entire relationship is nothing more than regular romps in the sheets. But what exactly does that have to do with me? Why would that give me any hope? Just because he and Bombi aren't in the best place right now doesn't mean that he's suddenly going to want me." I felt a pang of sorrow as I spoke the last sentence. Somewhere inside I'd been hoping that it did mean that he'd want me and it hurt to finally admit that it was probably just a fantasy.

"I know, but there's something else. Whenever your name comes up he seems to brighten. I always attributed it to the same thing that caused him to be so protective of you. Then again, maybe it was."

"What do you mean protective of me?"

"You mean you didn't know? Nobody ever told you?"

"Told me what? What are you talking about Munk?"

Munkustrap paused, and I could see that he was debating what he was about to say. "Tugger, well he… um… ok. I don't wish to be rude, but you know that for a grown tom you're rather small right?" I nodded in response. "And you know that you were a bit late in finally maturing?" Again I confirmed his statement. "Well some of the older kittens made fun of you at the time, even after they became toms they kept it up." The news stung a bit, but I couldn't say it was much of a surprise. Tugger was really the only tom that I'd considered a true friend. "Tugger though, he didn't let it go. He beat up Mungo a few times and Plato on several occasions because they were speaking ill of you."

I remembered those occasions, but Tugger had always told me that they'd looked at Bombalurina the wrong way or paid him some insult. "He did that for me?"

"Yes Quaxo. I've never seen him care for someone like he does for you. I can't pretend to know what it means, but I thought you should know." He stood and asked me if I'd be alright on my own. I told him I'd be fine and that I appreciated him helping through. After he left I didn't quite know what to feel. It sounded to me like he thought Tugger might actually have feelings for me, but I didn't want to get my hopes up only for them to be shattered again. I spent the last of the afternoon alone in the clearing, trying to make sense of everything. As the sun began to set I felt that I was at least at peace with what had happened. I had no idea what was to come, but I knew that I wanted Tugger to stay, so if I had to put my feelings aside, that's what I'd do. Not a minute after I made that decision I heard a familiar voice drifting down from above me.

"So Misty… about earlier…"


	11. The Break-Up

**_So that's what Misty was up to after the events of that morning. Now we're back to me, and I'll be picking up after my revelation in bed with Bombalurina._**

"Bombi?" I nudged her gently to see if she was awake. "Bombi?"

"This better be important Tug," she said, stretching out as she awoke.

"It is. I don't really know how to say it so I'll just come out with it; we're done." I could barely hear the words I was speaking, but I knew they had to be said.

"What did you just say?" She was certainly awake now and she was livid. At least I assumed she was, her red fur made it hard to tell sometimes.

"You heard me, we're done."

"There's someone else isn't there? Who is it? Electra? Etcetera? Victoria? Tell me!"

"It isn't any of them. We need to stop fooling ourselves; we haven't had a real relationship since the first time we mated."

"What are you talking about? We've done plenty of relating…" She crawled over to me and ran her hands through my mane as she spoke.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," I retorted, making a point of removing her hands from my mane. "Our whole relationship is based on nothing more than a roll in the hay every other day or so."

"Don't act like you're not enjoying it Tugger."

"Honestly? You're not that great." If she had been mad before, it was nothing compared to now. "Besides, I want an actual relationship with someone. Someone I can actually connect with. Maybe then mating will be something more than something to do when I'm bored." That was the last straw for her. She slapped me across the face and stormed out of my den. I won't say I was terribly sad to see her go, the Bombalurina that I'd cared for growing up had gone long ago.

I waited until the stinging in my face had gone to decide on my next move. I didn't want my feelings towards Bombalurina to affect my actions concerning Mistoffelees. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was worried he didn't feel the same way. This certainly wasn't a scenario I'd ever been on this side of, but having been on the other side had taught me that it always ended with the one in love crying. Not that I'd cry of course, but I assumed it would provoke some similarly unpleasant emotional response, so I decided it would be best to try and play it off. Unless of course Mistoffelees did in fact have feelings for me, in which case I would tell him that the feelings were mutual. But what if I missed a signal? What if he tried to hint at it and I didn't catch it? What if I thought he was hinting but he wasn't? This was getting to be too damn confusing so I went with my only tried and true plan: improvise.

When I left my den I was swarmed by my fan club. They wanted all the details of the rather loud escapade of the afternoon and the dirt on why Bombalurina had stormed off. I resigned myself and began recounting the events of the afternoon, keeping a few details just for me and the other toms when the kits and queens weren't around. When I got to the part about the break-up everyone gasped, but I could tell none of them were terribly upset by the news. As far as they were concerned, I was back on the market and that suited them just fine. Of course, they were to be disappointed again, but I figured it was best to let them have their fantasies for a while.

I made my way towards the clearing, but paused just shy of it. I could hear voices drifting out of it, and though I couldn't quite make out what was being said I was under the distinct impression that the voices belonged to my brother and Mistoffelees. I held back, not wanting to see my brother under these circumstances, especially since I had no clue as to what Mistoffelees had just told him. I couldn't imagine that he'd ratted me out and told my brother that I'd forced myself on him, but then again I hadn't exactly imagined that I'd kiss him, fall in love with him, and break up with Bombalurina that day either. I waited in the shadows until my brother left a few minutes later. Given the expression on his face I could tell my fear hadn't been justified. His face didn't contain the rage it would have if he'd heard I'd taken advantage of someone, instead it bore the look of one processing a considerable amount of information. I decided it would be best not to speak to him, on the off chance that I say too much.

When I entered the clearing I saw Mistoffelees sitting at the bottom of the fender I enjoyed relaxing on while I watched him practice his dancing and magic. He was obviously deep in thought, but I couldn't tell anything more. I crept over, and assumed my usual position on the fender. I waited, collecting my own thoughts before speaking. Eventually I decided that I was doing nothing but worrying myself more by waiting, and I finally spoke.

"So Misty… about earlier…"


	12. Reparations

I didn't know what I was going to say. I knew I was going to improvise, but this had to be the performance of a lifetime. One slip could change everything. I couldn't lose Quaxo, that kind, shy, kitten that meant so much to me. I looked down to gauge his reaction to my words but all I was met with was surprise at my entrance. Normally that would be something I used to my advantage but this time it hindered me greatly.

"Listen, Mi- Quaxo. I – we need to talk about this. We can't just pretend like nothing happened."

"Tugger, that's exactly what I plan to do," he said, looking me dead in the eye. "I don't know why it happened, I don't know why I behaved as I did, but the simple fact is that it's done now. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, so I say we just put it behind us and carry on as we normally would."

"If you think that's the best thing, I'm ok with that Quaxo." I was rather taken aback by his abruptness; I'd never seen him be quite so forceful before. If that was what it took to put things back to normal, I was willing to do it. I couldn't even address him by the nickname I'd been using for months. I needed him to know how serious I was.

"Just one thing Tug…"

"Name it."

"Stop calling me that."

"Stop calling you what? I was using your proper name!"

"Exactly. Stop it. Any other day you'd be calling me Misty."

"Ok then… Misty." I couldn't help but smile as I spoke the nickname. It had only been one afternoon, but it felt like I'd been separated from him for an eternity. I slid down from the fender and sat down next to him and nuzzled him gently.

"Where did that come from?"

"I just… I felt so horrible this afternoon. I thought I'd lost you, and I can't bear the thought of that. You're my best friend Misty. Hell, you're probably the only person in this junkyard that I'd even call a friend, and the thought that I'd ruined that was tearing me apart." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I spoke, which was a good thing because for the first time since I was a kitten I felt my eyes starting to water.

"It's ok Tug. I'm not going anywhere," he said gently, nuzzling against me. We sat there together as the sun dipped below the horizon, and the moon rose to take its place. As we sat in silence I felt, for the first time, content. He couldn't know, and would probably never know, that I _had_ meant something by it. But if I had to keep my feelings for him hidden, I'd do it. I hadn't realized it until I said it, but he was the only one in the junkyard that I'd actually call friend.

As the heat of the day faded into the cold of night I felt him pressing in closer, his own fur not enough to keep him warm. I put my arm around him and pulled him closer still, and he rested his head against my shoulder. I could feel him trembling from the cold so I broke the silence. "Come on Misty. We need to get you home. You'll catch you're death out here."

"Not yet Tugger. I know I didn't say it earlier but I feel the same way about you. When you're here with me nothing else matters. I don't have to hide anything. You know who I am and treat me the same. So please, not yet."

I instantly regretted what I said next but the words couldn't be unspoken. "You could spend the night with me if you want?" I'd told myself I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our friendship and then I went and said that. I winced, waiting for an angry response, but all I felt was him nuzzling my shoulder.

"I'd like that very much," he said, smiling softly.

"Really? Alright then." I stood and helped him to his feet. We walked to the edge of the clearing before pausing as he spoke again.

"Wait. What about Bombi? I doubt she'll take kindly to me intruding."

"She won't be around. Just me and you tonight."

"Well in that case…" He gave me a quick pat on the rear and a cheeky grin before sauntering off ahead of me. It was the last thing I would have expected from him at that particular moment, but I didn't care. It seemed that things were going to be business as usual with us and though I wished he felt the same way I did, I was happy to have our friendship back.

The rest of the walk to my den was rather uneventful. We didn't speak, but it was nice to be in each other's company. When we arrived I tidied things up a bit, then we laid ourselves down on the blankets. I put my arm around him and he fell asleep there, in my arms. I wanted to pull him in closer, but I didn't dare. He was there, with me, and that was enough.


	13. Watching

Though most would never suspect it, I've always tended to be an early riser. It gave me some time to go and hunt and prepare myself for the swarming of my fan club when once they all awoke. I stood as Misty slept and caught us some breakfast. When I returned he was still sleeping so I ate and began grooming myself. As I did I had a terrifying notion. Undoubtedly the news of my break-up would have spread and all of my fans would certainly be at my door waiting for me to emerge so they could interrogate me. Fine under normal circumstances, but with Misty there with me it was going to be hard to keep people from getting the wrong idea, especially Bombalurina, and god help him if she thought he was the one I left her for. Of course, it was true that I'd left her for him, but neither of them could know.

"Misty? Misty, wake up!" I shook him gently at first, but became more intense before he finally could be coaxed from his slumber.

"Tugger? What…? Oh… I forgot, you asked me to stay the night," he yawned, stretching himself out.

"Yeah, about that. There's something you need to know."

"Can it wait until after we eat? I didn't eat much yesterday and I'm starving."

"I already caught something for you," I said, handing him his breakfast. "Now can we get on to the matter at hand?"

"I guess so. What's got you all riled up?"

"Well you know how I told you Bombalurina wouldn't be around last night?"

"Yes…?"

"I didn't tell you everything. I broke up with her yesterday. After she… you know. Anyway, point is, there's gonna be a mob at there and they're gonna be awful curious about how I spent last night."

"Wait, slow down. You broke up with Bombi? Why?"

"You know why. I guess with all the stuff that happened yesterday I finally decided to end it. I couldn't deal with her anymore. But that isn't really the important part. The important part is that if she's gonna be out for the blood of whoever she thinks broke us up, and if the kits see you leaving, no matter what we tell them, they're gonna think something's up between us."

"But there isn't anything, is there?"

"No, but Bombi has never been one to let those pesky little things called facts get in her way when she's out for vengeance." It stung a bit having to admit there was nothing between us, but things had to be this way so there wasn't time to be wallowing in self-pity. "Unless you've got a better idea or a death wish, I'd suggest we get you out of here before any of the kits arrive."

"You're probably right. I've got some, uh, things, to take care of this morning anyway." He stood and began giving himself a quick grooming.

I poked my head outside and saw no one. "Looks like you're clear. I'm probably going to be swamped with them most of the morning, so do you maybe want to meet up in the clearing this afternoon?"

"Ok," he said, a small grin creeping across his face. "I'll see you later then."

"Good. Now go before you get caught." He slipped out, and I flopped down on the blankets. They still had his scent on them and I couldn't help but take in a deep breath, letting his scent fill my nostrils. I felt slightly pathetic doing it, but I figured no one would ever know. **_Guess I kinda let the cat out of the bag there didn't I…_**

Not so long after I began hearing the chatter of kittens waiting for me to make my appearance. I stood and gave myself one last grooming, taking a moment to prepare myself for the onslaught I was walking into. I steeled my resolve and stepped out of my den.

"Is it true you broke up with Bombi?"

"Why'd you break up?"

"Are you seeing someone else?"

"Can we go on a date Tugger?"

The questions came flying in as I'd expected. "Slow down everyone! I'll answer all your questions but you'll have to cool it a bit. First question I heard was if it was true Bombalurina and I broke up, and the answer to that is yes, as I told some of you last night. Why? Again, as I said last night it just wasn't working out. Am I seeing someone else? No. As for whether or not we can go on a date, well I'd have to know which one of you lovely darlings asked me." I grinned mischievously as I answered the last one, and it drove them all wild. Of course I had no intention of actually going on said date, but I didn't see any harm in letting them have their little fantasies. That morning's interrogation didn't go as long as the one the previous afternoon, but it did carry on a bit. Eventually I cut it short when I noticed Alonzo passing by. "Sorry everyone, but there's something I've been meaning to talk to Lonzo about, and NO it's not that kind of talk so don't you worry. Tugger is a free tom." With that I took my leave and caught Alonzo heading towards my brother's den. I didn't think anything of it, but I thought he might be someone to talk to about what was going on in my head.

What I hadn't noticed that morning was a certain red queen that had been watching my den since the break of dawn, and had seen a certain tuxedo tom sneaking off rather early...


	14. Brother's Love

I darted after Alonzo and caught him just outside my brother's den. I'd never really spoken to him all that much, but I felt like he was probably the only person that I could trust. Normally I'd go to my brother, but he always shared things with Demeter and she and Bombalurina had become closer as Bombalurina and I had drifted apart and there was no doubt in my mind that if I told Munk that the news would make its way down the line.

"Lonzo! You got a minute?"

He was a bit startled at my approach, but he collected himself quickly. "I was just on my way to – oh never mind, doesn't matter. I can probably spare a minute for you. What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about something," I said, slightly apprehensive of what I was about to say.

"Ok then," he said, with a puzzled look on his face, "but wouldn't you rather talk to Munk or Quaxo about this? They're the only ones you ever seem to spend actual time with."

"This matter is a bit sensitive, in a manner of speaking. I'd rather not tell Munk since he'll inevitably tell Demeter, who will undoubtedly blab to Bombalurina and I can't exactly have that happening."

"So this has to do with your break up then."

"What? Why would you think that?" He was right of course, but I hoped the truth wasn't obvious.

"You've never cared about rumors before. Hell, your entire life is based around starting rumors. Still doesn't answer why you don't want to go to Quaxo though."

"Ok so it does have to do with my breaking up with Bombalurina. But it kinda has to do with M- Quaxo as well." I barely caught myself before I let my pet name for him slip out.

"What could your break up and Quaxo possibly have to do with each other?"

"Can we go someplace a little more private for this? I'd rather not be overheard talking about it." As I spoke I saw his expression go from confused to shocked as he put the pieces together in his mind.

"No! You can't mean – you and Quaxo?"

"No not like that you idiot!" I hissed angrily. "It's just – well – fine maybe it is like that but I haven't laid a paw on him. Ok maybe I have, but we haven't slept together. Fine we have but not like that!" At the end of that even I was a little confused by what I was saying.

"Slow down Tugger. You know what my den is just over there. We can go there and you can try and put what you just said into a coherent statement." He took me by the arm and led me to his den, unseen thankfully. His den was small but cozy, just the right size for a single tom with just enough room for the occasional late night tryst, without being so large as to seem empty without the company of another. He didn't have as many blankets or curios scattered around his den as I did, but it felt comfortable. He sat me down before speaking again. "Now start over. What's going on with you and Quaxo?"

I sighed as I steadied my nerves. "Everyone knows the two of us have always been close. Recently though, I've been feeling differently about him. Not like I don't like him anymore, but like I like him more now. Like-"

"Is that your new favorite word Tugger, or are you completely unable to speak definitively?" He said teasingly.

"Bite me. You know what I'm trying to say."

"Do I? Because it certainly sounds like _THE_ Rum Tug Tugger might have made it over the rainbow."

"You're one to talk!" I saw him reel back at my sharp reply. "I'm sorry Alonzo. It's just that I have so many conflicting things going on in me now. Things I've never felt before."

"It's ok Tugger, I understand. But _you_ have to understand, that you can't fight what you feel. It won't do any good."

"You know, it's funny. Just a few months ago I was saying those same things to-" I was abruptly interrupted by a voice coming from the entrance to the den.

"Lonnie? You can't have forgotten that we were supposed to spend some time together this morning." I froze as I realized the teasing voice belonged to my own brother. A moment later he came into the den and saw me seated on the floor, facing Alonzo. "What are you doing here Tugger?" He cried out frantically.

"I should be asking you the same thing Munk! Something you care to share with the class?" I looked him dead in the eye as I spoke. I didn't know why I felt so angry all of a sudden, but I felt my blood boiling.

"I was just reminding Alonzo that we were going to hunt together today," he said awkwardly.

"That's a load of shit and you know it," I said, having calmed down significantly.

"I – I-"

"It's ok Munk. You might as well tell him," said Alonzo.

"Tell me what?"

"Alonzo and I are, well, kinda seeing each other."


	15. Desperate Times

It took me a few seconds to process what I'd just heard. At first I thought I'd heard wrong, then I remembered my brother's entrance from moments before. I couldn't figure out how I felt because my head was too busy reeling. Munk was seeing Alonzo, who had long nursed a crush on me, even though he was with Demeter. I'd noticed that Alonzo hadn't been hanging around as much for a while, but I figured he'd finally moved on. Turns out I was right, but it felt wrong. I would have been happy for Alonzo under any other circumstance, and it wasn't like I was one to judge my brother for getting a little extra on the side, but something about this was difficult to process. Maybe it was the notion that my brother was also flexible with his partners or maybe it was just the way I found out. When I was finally able to speak, all I could manage was: "what about Demeter, Munk?"

"She has no idea. I do love her, but Lonnie makes me feel… Honestly I can't describe it. When I'm with Demeter I just want to hold her close and make her feel safe, but when I'm with Alonzo I feel safe. I feel like I can let go of everything and just be with him. In those moments we share the rest of the world melts away and nothing else matters." As my brother had spoken, Alonzo had stood up and joined him, and as he finished his declaration, he'd pulled Alonzo into a kiss. When their lips touched I saw Alonzo tremble at my brother's touch and I couldn't help but think of Mistoffelees. Everything my brother had said reflected how I felt about Mistoffelees. I wanted to hold him close and make him feel safe. Nothing else did matter when I was with him. I thought of how he'd returned the kiss so passionately, and for a moment I thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way I did. Why would he just want to move on and forget about it then? None of it made sense. I could have any queen I wanted, and could probably have my pick of toms too, but the only one wanted, no, the only one I'd ever _loved_ wanted to just forget our first and only kiss.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I jumped to my feet, pushed the two lovebirds out of my way and ran out of the den. I could feel myself tearing up again. _No Tugger. You can't do this now. Everyone will see you._ I just kept running. I ran past my den, past the piles of junk, past the clearing. I ran to the edge of the junkyard, found the hole in the fence Mungo and Teazer used to sneak out and squeezed myself through. I paid no attention to where I ran, I just couldn't be in the junkyard any longer. Soon I found myself at my father's home. Unlike other Jellicles he didn't live in the junkyard. He had once, but at his age, it was thought best that he live with a family that would care for him. He didn't live far from the junkyard and he was present several times a month, and at every Jellicle Ball.

I found him in his usual spot in the alley behind the family's building. When I arrived, I finally gave in and collapsed. I knew I would look a total mess, from having run all the way and now that I was crying on my knees like a young queen, but I couldn't deal with it any more. My father put his arm around me and just waited there quietly. He finally spoke when I got myself in some kind of order.

"Are you ready to talk about it son?" I looked up at him, and tried to collect myself enough to speak.

"I'm sorry dad. I just – I had to get some things out."

"Care to tell me what those things are?"

"I don't think I can. But…" I paused as I thought about what I was about to say. I knew it was going to hit him hard, but I couldn't think of any other course of action. I wanted to soften the blow, but I knew that my father preferred brutal honesty to mendacity. I wished I could see an alternative, but I couldn't. I knew it would be painful, but the compared to the alternative, it seemed the lesser of evils. I took a deep breath, and spoke. "Dad, I'm leaving the junkyard."


	16. Author's Interlude

**Notes from the Author**

I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I know a lot of people put notes at the beginning & ends of chapters, but it always seems to break my flow when I'm writing so I thought I'd just stop in and say a few words.

Massive thanks to HGP for her reviews - I love getting feedback from readers, and I like to try and incorporate your ideas where I can.

I haven't been planning this story. I just try to go where the story takes me, so I apologize if it feels like it's just sort of meandering all over the place. I prefer writing in this manner because it frees me from sticking to one idea when the story feels like it's going somewhere else, and allows me to take your suggestions and bring them in.

I do write these chapters fairly late at night so I do apologize for any stupid mistakes spell check and I miss.

Thanks for reading! I should have another chapter tomorrow or the day after.


	17. Changing of Heart

My father took the news about as I expected he would. That is to say, badly. It took quite a while for the look of shock to leave his face, and when it did I couldn't tell if the look was one of sadness or great anger. I wasn't about to find out, so I spoke before he had the chance.

"Maybe I'm being selfish and petty, but it's what I have to do. I fell in love with someone who doesn't love me. Every time I think of them my stomach starts doing flips, every time I see them my heart flutters. I can't bear the thought that they don't feel the same way. Maybe this is my punishment for all my flirting and teasing, maybe I'm supposed to feel how someone else felt because of me. Maybe I deserve this and brought it upon myself. The only thing I know is that until I can figure all this shit out I can't be around any of the others." I can't claim to have known all of what I said before that moment, the words just came out of my mouth. That didn't make them any less true, though.

"Well then it seems there's nothing I can say to change your mind. I must say though, I imagined it would be Quaxo I had this conversation with, not you."

I couldn't help but tense up at his name. "What does Quaxo have to do with any of this?"

"Come now, son. You honestly thought I didn't know? You've never cared about anyone as much as you care for him. Even when you were kits you were protecting him. I knew it was only a matter of time before one of you fell for the other. Who else could possibly have you, you who flirt with every Jellicle, so completely distraught?" He paused, waiting for me to have some reply, but there was nothing to say. Of course he was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he almost always was. "Where will you go?"

In truth, I hadn't thought that far ahead. I could only think of one place, but it was certain to make the whole situation worse. Then again, how could it get much worse? "I'll be with my brother."

"But Munkustrap is staying in the junkyard, unless he's suddenly decided to join you."

"You know as well as I do that I have another brother and you another son."

"No Tugger. I don't. My eldest son died long ago. Don't make me mourn the loss of another."

"I am not my brother. What he did to Demeter was unforgivable. But he is still my brother. He raised me after you checked out when mother left. He was there for me when you weren't. Hell, I'd even go so far as to say that maybe if you hadn't been so absorbed in your own self-pity when mother left you might have been able prevent him from ending up the way he did." I could see in my father's eyes that my words had stung. Part of me regretted having hurt him that way, but part of me was happy to have finally said what I'd long kept from him.

"For all your talk you were awfully quick to take advantage of his situation at the ball this year, so I'll assume this once that your words were the result of your state, not your actual feelings. Unless of course you really are as fleeting and careless as you lead people to believe. For your sake I hope it's the former rather than the later."

"Yeah. I'm sorry dad. I was out of line to say those things. That still doesn't change the fact that Mac is the only one I can go to."

"Well then maybe your decision was made in haste. Why are you really running away? Is it because you don't think Quaxo loves you too? Is it because you are angry at yourself for having made others feel this way? Or is it because you're too afraid to deal with those things?" This time it was my turn to be stung. Unfortunately, as is often the case with words that sting, my father's words stung not so much because he spoke them, but because they were true. As much as I wanted to believe that I was doing some noble, self-sacrificing deed by leaving, all I was doing was running away. Running away from my feelings. Running away from the hurt. "Son, I know you've never really felt these things before. It's always hard, and for someone like you, you who have always had your choice of any in the tribe, I can only imagine this simply doesn't make any sense. I can't say I'm overjoyed at the cause of your heartache being another tom, but the Everlasting's designs aren't mine to question. So, though I said earlier I thought I couldn't change your mind, I hope that you have changed it either because of my words or of your own accord. But if you haven't, I won't stop you."

I hated the way my father always seemed to be right. It was the reason that he was still our leader at his age, and why he was so beloved despite his occasional brusqueness. I looked up to the sky and saw it was approaching midafternoon, and remembered I was supposed to have met Quaxo in our clearing ages ago. It hadn't seemed like a big deal when I was planning to vanish, but now that I'd had some manner of sense talked into me, I realized that if I was to ever have a chance with him I couldn't stand him up now.

"I won't leave. As tired as I am of saying it, you were right. I was running away. Maybe I'm being equally stupid and reckless, but I think this is something I need to be running toward. I'm not going to spend my life moping around, hoping that someday the Everlasting will just drop him into my lap. If he doesn't feel the way I do, at least I'll be able to live with myself knowing I didn't just run away when things got rough."


	18. Decisions

**_Now I know you're all just_** ** _dying_** ** _to hear about what dear old Misty was up to while all this was going on, so I'll be handing the reigns back to him for a while. Ta!_**

After my rather rushed departure from Tugger's den, I thought it best to go find Munkustrap. I had this strange feeling that Tugger was hiding something from me, but maybe I was just being paranoid. Everything I could have reasonably hoped for from my conversation with Tugger the previous afternoon had come true. We were friends again, and we'd even spent the night together. Maybe that was what was nagging at me. It was so typical Tugger that it almost seemed out of character. Who else could kiss someone, freak out, screw their partner, break up with said partner, make amends with the person they kissed, and then ask them to stay the night with them? It was just all so confusing.

"Quaxo!" I froze as I recognized the voice calling me. "Hey Quax, you got a minute?" I turned to see Bombalurina approaching me.

"Sure Bomba," I said awkwardly. "What's… what's up?" I fought to hold a straight face. Nothing had happened between Tugger and me, and it wasn't like she knew I'd spent the night with him anyway. It was just a coincidence that she was talking to me today. Nothing more.

"What do you mean what's up? We haven't talked in ages! What happened? We all used to be so close." She seemed sincere, but my gut was saying that something was up.

"I guess we just sort of… went our own ways?" I replied awkwardly.

"Look I've got plans with Dem this morning, but I really want us to spend some time together, just us, so I was thinking maybe you come by my den in a few hours and we go hunting for lunch together? Dem and I were planning to go into the city so I'll even have some rice pudding." In all my life I'd never seen Bombalurina acting the way she was. Normally she was haughty and sassy and couldn't give less of a thought to someone like me. Even when we were "close" she was only there to get her paws on Tugger.

"Umm… ok? Sure. I'll see you later." I hated to do it, but I figured I might as well do it to keep her from asking why I didn't want to. I walked off before she had the chance to speak any further.

I made my way to Munkustrap's den as quickly as I could, hoping to find him alone so I could speak freely. When I arrived, I found I was in luck and he was, in fact alone.

"Munk? Munk, it's Quaxo. Can we talk?" I said, leaning in through the entrance. I saw him bent over, tidying something I couldn't quite see, though from the look of the place he'd be needing to do a lot of that.

"Of course Quaxo, come in," he said without turning around. "Sorry about the mess, things got a little hectic in here," he continued, a slight redness coming to his cheeks. "Make yourself comfortable."

I sat down on a clear patch of blanket near the center of the room before speaking. "It's about Tugger, Munk."

"I see," he said, concern obvious in his voice. He stopped his tidying and sat himself next to me. "What happened, Quaxo?"

"After you left he found me in that clearing. He apologized and we sat there for a while talking things over and I thought everything was fine. I said I wanted to go back to the way things were, and he said he was ok with it but I'm not Munk, I just want him so much. He was even tearing up while we were there when he told me he could bear to not be friends with me and I just wanted to hold him and tell him how I feel but I couldn't because I don't want him to hate me for it and I just don't know what to do." By the time I was done I was breathless and could feel my eyes watering. Munkustrap opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off before he could. "And then we slept together last night and he got scared that Bomba might find out even though they just broke up and now she wants me to have lunch with her and I'm scared even though she doesn't know anything and I just…"

"Wait, slow down Quaxo, you and Tugger did _what_?"

"We spent the whole afternoon talking and then he asked me to stay the night and he slept with his arms around me and brought me breakfast before rushing me away so Bomba wouldn't see since he was scared she'd think he left her for me."

"Okay then… I don't even know where to start. I guess we'll start the Bomba thing? Wait, maybe we should start with the other thing. Bast, this whole thing is a mess. I'm so sorry Quaxo," he said as he put his arm around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "At this point Quax, I think as much as you're going to hate it, you're just going to have to buckle down and tell him how you feel. He obviously feels something for you, so he'll never push you away. I can't claim to know if he loves you the same way you love him, but like I said yesterday, I've never seen him care for anyone the way he cares for you. As for the situation with Bombalurina, that just sounds like a whole extra nightmare. I'd just avoid talking about Tugger at all costs. If there is something between you two it'll be out pretty quickly and she'll just have to deal with it, but I don't see any benefit in saying anything remotely regarding Tugger later. I hope that helps. Even I had a hell of a time following it as I said it," he finished with a chuckle and I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Thanks Munk. I think I knew all that already but it helps to hear it from someone else."

"Don't mention it kit. Anything else I can help with?"

"No, thank you. I think I'm just going to go to my den for a bit so I can think everything over."

"Of course," he said as we stood for me to leave. "Good luck Quaxo."

"Thanks Munk. Everlasting knows I'm going to need it."


	19. Rice Pudding

I left Munkustrap's den feeling a little less nervous than I had felt when I entered. Just as I'd said, I went to my own den to think everything over. I may have had some strategies for what was to come that afternoon, but that wasn't going to make any of it any easier. With Bombalurina the best I could figure was to just take Munk's advice and talk about literally anything other than Tugger and hope for the best.

The situation with Tugger, on the other paw, was going to be difficult to say the least. How does one tell their best friend they're in love with them? Of course, Tugger had kissed _me_ , but somehow that didn't exactly make it any easier to tell him. Then there was the spectrum of potential outcomes. As far as I could tell, there were only four possibilities. The best possible outcome would be that he shared my feelings, but that was the least likely. Not quite as unlikely was that he'd freak out and want nothing to do with me. After that it was a toss-up between us staying friends as normal and him saying nothing was wrong, but everything being a little more awkward until we finally gave up. Then again, Tugger didn't seem to have a problem hanging around with all his adoring fans, but they weren't his best friend.

No matter how many times I had had this mental debate, I had always thought the better of telling him. But after talking to Munkustrap I couldn't shake the gut feeling that I should just get it over with and stop hiding it. Part of me couldn't help but wonder if that kiss and all the drama of the past day hadn't been some sort of sign. When I'd come out to him, I couldn't bear the thought of telling him. Now I was preparing myself to do so.

I spent the rest of the morning choosing my words carefully, trying to figure out just the right way to phrase everything. As if any amount of wordsmithing could actually make it any less awkward or Tugger somehow magically fall in love with me. Eventually I just gave up the effort, settling on what I'd come up with and hoping it wouldn't be too terrible and embarrassing, and went to meet Bombalurina.

I met her outside her den, where she was rather impatiently waiting.

"Took you long enough tux," she said, only half seriously.

"Sorry I lost track of time."

"It's all those books of yours Quax, you gotta get out more. Find yourself a queen."

I laughed, trying to hide my discomfort. "So, uh, where did you want to hunt?"

"Oh, anywhere. Maybe we should stay close though, since I did manage to get some rice pudding for you." She seemed to be putting a lot of emphasis on the rice pudding, and I assumed she was trying to make a point of letting me know she went out of her way for me.

"You did? That's awfully nice of you…" Nothing she was saying or doing seemed malicious, but something just wasn't adding up with me. There was no way this happened to be a coincidence. Then it occurred to me. _Is she trying to… Everlasting she is! She's trying to seduce me to make Tugger jealous!_ I'd always known Bombalurina wasn't above using her gifts to get her way, but even for her it just seemed low. I took a step away from her before I spoke. "There's a pretty good spot over by the main clearing so why don't we try over there?" There were almost always a few of us lurking around that clearing at any time so I thought it might be a good idea to stay as public as possible.

"Wherever you like Quax. Lead the way," she said with a smirk. We had decent luck in catching mice, and I managed to keep us in plain view of a few of the others at all times. It appeared my strategy was working, since she never seemed to make any physical moves on me, but she certainly made her intention of bringing me back to her den clear.

I put off going to her den as long as I could, always bringing up useless questions or talking about something unimportant every time she tried to get me there. Eventually though, I gave in and resigned myself to simply telling her no when she made her move. But the move never came. She was awfully eager for me to eat my rice pudding, even giving me her portion as well. For the reputation she had she wasn't particularly good at the whole "seduction" thing, at least as far as I could tell. I don't even recall any of what was said; I just wanted to get the hell out of there so I could get it over with with Tugger.

When I'd finished the pudding I practically ran out of her den. No way was I going to give her any more chances to try to seduce me. Even if the alternative was confessing my love to Tugger.

As I approached the clearing I could hear him muttering to himself, obviously trying to figure something out. My heart sank as I realized it was probably about him getting back together with Bombalurina. I started to feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I entered our little clearing and saw him pacing it anxiously, still muttering to himself.

He turned and began walking towards me, obviously about to say something, but I held up my paw to silence him.

"Before you say anything Tug there's something I have to say." My stomach was even worse than it had been moments ago and I was beginning to feel light-headed. "We've been through a lot together, especially over the past two days-" I could feel the ground beneath my paws trembling. "- and, as hard as it is for me to say this, there's something you need to know." My vision was beginning to blur, but I could see the nervousness on his face. I tried to breathe and steady myself, but the whole world around me was spinning and I felt like something was pressing down on my chest. "Tugger I- I- I lo-" My vision went dark and I felt myself crumpling to the ground.


	20. Death's Door

I saw Misty entering the clearing, and knew my time was up. Whatever would happen would happen, and I'd just have to live with it. I went to speak but he silenced me before I could. From the look on his face and the way he was holding himself, whatever he was going to say was serious. As he spoke I could feel my world imploding – it sounded like he was rejecting me before I even spoke. Worse still, it sounded like he was bringing an end to our friendship as well and despite my best efforts I felt myself welling up for the second time that day. I could live with him not loving me, but not even wanting to be friends anymore?

I watched him carefully, trying to figure out where he was going, praying it wasn't as I feared, and I could see clear as day that something was horribly wrong. He was unsteady, breathless. Then he just… collapsed. Right there in front of me. I leapt forward and caught him, and I could feel him burning up. The day wasn't particularly warm, but he'd been sweating profusely.

"Misty? Quaxo! Quaxo!" I cried out desperately. Nothing. I put my ear to his chest and found his breathing shallow and heartbeat faint. "HELP! SOMEBODY!" I screamed to the empty clearing as I hoisted him into my arms and began running. I continued my screaming as I ran towards Jenny's den, attracting the attention of almost the entire tribe as I did. "JENNY! JENNY!" I sprinted into her den, not bothering to knock. "Jenny it's Quaxo! Something's wrong!"

She whirled around, dropping whatever it was she was doing as I barged into her den and jumping to action. "Put him on the blankets," she directed, forced calm in her voice. She quickly began examining him for any injuries. "What happened to him Tugger?" she asked as she carried on.

"We were talking in one of the clearings and he wasn't looking too good and he just collapsed! I thought he was having some sort of panic attack or something…"

"Did his head hit the ground?"

"No, I caught him."

She studied him a bit more. "He definitely didn't have a panic attack Tugger. If he'd just passed out for a moment, maybe. But he's burning up and his heartbeat is faint. Do you know what he ate today?"

"We both had a mouse this morning, but I don't know what he did after. Why? Do you think it was something he ate?"

"Tugger… this isn't a bad mouse. Whatever he ate was extremely toxic. I'm going to make him throw up and hope that helps, but I don't know that it will." The look on her face was grave.

"No! He can't die! I- I-" Jenny gave me a curious look before carrying on with her work. "I love him." Any tears I'd held back earlier flowed freely from my eyes as I sank to my knees. "I was going to tell him. Everyone else be damned. If they want to judge me let them. I love him. Now I may not even get the chance to tell him."

Jenny turned to me and put a paw on my shoulder. "Tugger, I'm going to do everything I can to give you that chance. You and I might never see eye to eye, and I may not exactly be a proponent of such things, but I've never seen you care so much for anyone. Quaxo has always brought out the best in you. I promise you, I'll do everything I can." She gave my shoulder a squeeze and went back to tending to Quaxo as I sat there, crying quietly.

Moments later Munkustrap rushed in, wild eyed. "Tugger? What's happened? Is Quaxo alright? Everlasting, Tug are you alright?" His eyes widened when he saw the state I was in and he rushed over to me.

Thankfully Jenny spoke for me, and told Munkustrap what had happened, with the exception of what I'd just told her, before turning to me again. "Now Tugger, you know him better than anyone. I hate to ask this, but is there any chance he did this to himself?"

I dried my eyes as best I could and steadied my heaving chest. "No. He seemed happy this morning."

"I saw him after you did Tug," Munkustrap said. "He was stressed but not enough for this. He was going to have lunch with Bombalurina before he met-"

I didn't let Munk finish his sentence. "Bombalurina?" I growled. "What was she doing with him?"

"She invited him to eat with her, that's all. He seemed nervous about it though."

"Obviously with good reason," I snarled.

"What are you saying Tug?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying. I don't know how she figured it out, but she must have realized Quaxo was part of the reason we broke up."

"What do you mean Tug?"

"I mean I'm in love with Quaxo, Munk, as I'm sure Alonzo already told you after I left."

"He-"

"Save it Munk, I don't really care at this point. What matters is that somehow, Bombalurina is behind this."

"How can you say that Tugger? You've known her your whole life! You two were together until just yesterday!" Munkustrap said, shock apparent in his voice.

"You're right. I have known her. That's how I know she'd stoop this low."

"Munkustrap, you know I hate agreeing with Tugger," Jenny said as she worked, "but whatever it is Quaxo ingested didn't get in there accidentally, and if she was the last person to eat with him she'd definitely know something, even if she isn't to blame. You'll need to talk to her."

That was all the affirmation I needed. I heard Munkustrap calling after me as I ran out of the den, but I tuned his voice out. I could feel all my emotions stewing as my body became a cesspool of rage and hatred. Wherever she was, I'd find Bombalurina. I'd make her admit to what she did to Mistoffelees.

Then I'd kill her.


End file.
